


Deflowered By Hanaya Asexually

by guava



Series: Hanaya Taiga: Licensed to Deflower [6]
Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Crack, M/M, Self-cest, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 18:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10366671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guava/pseuds/guava
Summary: A glitch in the Kamen Rider system brings Taiga face to face with himself from five years ago. The battle between deflowerers begins!Now with the audio and lyrics to the officialLicensed to Deflowertheme song.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unlike Emu and Hiiro, Taiga hasn't met another version of himself in canon to self-cest with, but fanfic can rectify that. 
> 
> Read on for the lyrics and audio of the series' theme song. It's supposed to be sung to the tune of EXCITE.

[Licensed to Deflower Theme Song](http://vocaroo.com/i/s1shDkenOyD0)

_Where's my precious thing..._

_I don't wanna know_

_What Hanaya does to virgins_

_What I need to know_

_Is where he kept my precious thing_

_Where where where where_

_I lost it when I came too much_

_To his dark illegal hospital I had gone_

_To be deflowered_

_He took me in his arms, and with his tools he made me cry_

_WHERE'S MY PRECIOUS THING!_

_(Up the arse!) We were_

_Deflowered! Deflowered! By Hanaya_

_Deflowered Deflowered! In the bottom_

_Once taken by Hanaya, it can never be regained_

_Your only virginity_

_(What!) Hanaya will take it from you_

_(What!) Sometimes the virgins take him_

_Deflowered! Deflowered! By the doctor_

_D! He may be unlicensed_

_T! But he's still the only one_

_F! Who has deflowered your arse_

Instead of transporting him to the beach, Taiga's 'Stage Select' brought him to the middle of a meadow instead. No Bugster; not even another human was in sight. 

Wait--someone was coming. Someone walking across the meadow towards him. Someone...who looked a lot like him, except that he had white streaks in his hair. 

When the other man was near, Taiga activated his Gashat and prepared to fight. 

The other man stepped forward and grabbed Taiga's wrist. 

"I'll be taking that," the other man said. "And your other precious things too." 

Challenge Accepted; Game Start. 

Taiga pulled him into a kiss. 

* * *

No doubt, his younger self was good. 

But Taiga was better, for he had more experience in deflowering, Kamen Riding and riding. 

As they lay naked on the meadow with their bodies bathed in the rays of the setting sun, five years ago Taiga turned to Taiga and declared, "There's only one deflowerer needed here and it's me." 

"The one deflowerer is _me_ ," Taiga insisted. "You're 5 years--no, 100 years--too early to be topping me."

They crossed dicks again to determine who'd come out on top. Soon, flowers bloomed all over the meadow, signalling the early arrival of spring. 


End file.
